do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
