Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
