It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
