i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
