the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
