So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
