so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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