Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
