is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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