Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
