he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
