yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
