I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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