i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
