I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
