There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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