I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
