Rock
Scissors
Fuck
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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