my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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