No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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