her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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