Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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