she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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