Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
