the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
