Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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