Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
pray to the hookup gods
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
