She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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