My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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