He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
