Small penises have feelings too.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
