I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
