I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize