Only a mothe r could love this liver
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
