people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
