I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
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