if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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