Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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