Sober January is a disaster.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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