Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
