I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
