I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
worst night to have a conscience
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
