Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
