Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
