i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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