He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
