So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Randomize
