I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
