Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
