What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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