It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
