Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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