sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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