Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
