she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize