I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
