what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize