Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
